How to Relax with ADHD: Calming an Active Mind

How to Relax with ADHD

"Just relax" is advice that rarely works for people with ADHD. The restless mind, the need for stimulation, the guilt about resting - all conspire to make relaxation challenging. But learning to relax is possible with the right approach.

Why Relaxation is Hard with ADHD

Understanding the obstacles helps find solutions:

The Stimulation Problem

• ADHD brains need more stimulation than neurotypical ones
• "Relaxing" activities often feel boring or uncomfortable
• The brain seeks something more engaging

Guilt and Shame

• Feeling like you "should" be doing something productive
• Rest feels undeserved
• Internalised messages about laziness

Physical Restlessness

• Body feels uncomfortable sitting still
• Fidgeting and movement urges
• Internal racing that doesn't stop

Hyperactive Thoughts

• Mind won't quiet down
• Racing from topic to topic
• Planning, worrying, remembering

Difficulty Transitioning

• Trouble switching from "doing" to "resting"
• Tasks feel unfinished
• Brain stays in work mode

Redefining Relaxation for ADHD

Traditional relaxation - sitting quietly, meditating, doing nothing - often doesn't work for ADHD. Instead, consider:

Active Relaxation Engaging activities that recharge rather than deplete:

• Walking in nature
• Swimming or gentle exercise
• Crafts that occupy hands
• Playing with pets

Stimulating Rest Activities that satisfy the need for input:

• Audiobooks or podcasts
• Background music or TV
• Puzzles or games
• Light reading

Movement-Based Calm Using the body to settle the mind:

• Stretching or yoga
• Gentle rocking or swinging
• Massage or self-massage
• Weighted blankets

Practical Strategies to Relax with ADHD

1. Use Your Body to Calm Your Mind

Physical approaches work better for ADHD than mental ones:

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

• Systematically tense and release muscle groups
• Gives the mind something to focus on
• Physical relaxation follows mental

Cold Water

• Splash cold water on face
• Activates the dive reflex, slowing heart rate
• Quick reset for overwhelm

Deep Pressure

• Weighted blankets
• Tight hugs
• Compression clothing
• Calming to the nervous system

2. Give Your Brain Something to Do

ADHD brains struggle with "empty" rest:

Fidget Tools

• Fidget cubes or spinners
• Stress balls
• Silly putty or kinetic sand
• Allows rest while satisfying stimulation need

Background Input

• Lo-fi music
• Nature sounds
• Familiar TV shows (rewatched)
• Reduces mental noise

Colouring or Doodling

• Occupies enough attention
• Meditative without being "meditation"
• Produces satisfying results

3. Create Transition Rituals

Moving from activity to rest needs clear signals:

Environment Changes

• Different room for relaxation
• Lighting changes (dimmer, warmer)
• Change of clothes
• Clear physical boundaries

Time Markers

• Set a timer for work to give permission to stop
• Scheduled relaxation time
• "End of work" rituals

The Brain Dump

• Write down everything on your mind
• Move thoughts from brain to paper
• Reduces mental noise

4. Match Relaxation to Energy Levels

High Energy Moments When wired and restless:

• Physical activity first
• Walking, dancing, exercise
• Then transition to calmer activities

Medium Energy When able to settle somewhat:

• Engaging but not demanding activities
• Creative hobbies, games
• Social relaxation

Low Energy When already depleted:

• Passive activities are okay
• TV, audiobooks, resting
• Don't force active relaxation

5. Address the Guilt

Many people with ADHD feel guilty resting:

Reframe Rest as Productive

• Rest prevents burnout
• Recharged brains work better
• Rest is maintenance, not laziness

Schedule Rest

• Put it in the calendar
• Treat it like an appointment
• Less guilt when it's "official"

Start Small

• 10 minutes of intentional rest
• Build tolerance gradually
• Notice positive effects

ADHD-Friendly Relaxation Activities

Quick Resets (5-15 minutes)

• Step outside for fresh air
• Stretch at your desk
• Listen to one favourite song with full attention
• Play a quick phone game
• Drink tea mindfully

Medium Breaks (30-60 minutes)

• Walk in nature
• Take a bath or shower
• Cook a simple meal
• Play with a pet
• Video call a friend

Extended Rest (hours)

• Swimming or gentle exercise
• Movies or TV (guilt-free!)
• Reading for pleasure
• Creative hobbies
• Time in nature

When Relaxation Feels Impossible

Some days, traditional relaxation genuinely isn't accessible:

Allow "Productive" Rest

• Light organising or cleaning
• Easy creative projects
• Walking while listening to podcasts

Try Parallel Relaxation

• Rest alongside others
• Body doubling for downtime
• Less pressure than solo rest

Accept Imperfect Rest

• Scrolling your phone is rest
• TV binging is rest
• Any reduction in demand is rest

Building a Relaxation Practice

Long-term, aim to:

1. Know your nervous system - What genuinely calms you?
2. Have options ready - Don't decide when depleted
3. Remove barriers - Make relaxation easy to access
4. Build the skill - Relaxation gets easier with practice
5. Drop perfectionism - Imperfect rest is still rest

You Deserve to Rest

ADHD brains work hard - often harder than neurotypical ones, just to keep up with daily demands. Rest isn't a reward for productivity; it's a basic need.

Learning to relax with ADHD takes practice and different approaches, but it's possible. The key is finding what works for your brain, not forcing yourself into neurotypical definitions of relaxation.